Life Goes On....

Well since the last time I posted I have had two big blow outs with my kids. My son says now he would like to forget the past and move on? I was like ummmm what past he had a great childhood and his teens were not so bad either so really what are we forgetting here that was so bad. He is like well you know...No son actually I do not know. Unless of course he wants to forget that I was mentally abused for years and even after he became an adult he turned a blind eye. The fact that he has been acting like a two year old for the past four years maybe? He still barely speaks to me so not sure what the difference is anyway.

Now his sister has shunned me completely has sucked herself up to the sperm donor (not dad because he was never there) and to her he is better than anything right now. It does not matter that it was me that raised her, held her when she was hurt, spent sleepless nights when she was sick, or stuck up for her when no one else would. I wish I could say this did not hurt but it would be a lie. What I can say though is my life goes on I refuse to stop and be unhappy because she is being so self centered and selfish.

Son...

My son hasn't spoken to me in over a year. Yesterday was his 29th birthday and I sent him an e-mail wishing him a happy birthday and there was no reply. I try to tell myself it does not hurt but the fact of the matter is it does. 

I have thought about writing him a longer e-mail but I am afraid I will just get snubbed once again. You might be wondering why he does not want anything to do with me. It basically boils down to the fact that I moved to Texas and he did not agree with that decision. He went so far as to tell me the last time I spoke to him that I was crazy. 

He freely admits that he would never allow anyone to tell him how to live, or where to live for that matter. Yet feels he has the right to tell me and thinks I am crazy because I don't obey him. Now there is some seriously flawed logic for you there. He judges my life, and my friends though he has never met any of them, and has no clue how I live my life here. 

He has two young daughters and I really wonder if when they are his age if he will allow them to dictate to him the way he tries to do to me? I seriously doubt it.I am still very torn if I should try again to communicate with him, or to let it be. 

One Of These Days..,

I will learn to keep my big mouth shut. I have two really close friends and we normally get a long really well together. Well at least until a few months ago. Now you have to understand we are all big girls and we do tease each other a lot. Normally it is not a problem and helps us to deal with our abundance of physical self. 

Well for some odd reason (I still haven't exactly determined why though I have theories) Friend S started being really nasty mean to friend D. She got so bad that for awhile me and friend D started avoiding her. Well then things sort of came to a head because friend D was really getting fed up ( I don't blame her a bit). So friend S e-mails me one day and ask me if I thought she was being a bully too friend D. So me in one of my dumber moments (plus the desire to stick up for friend D) I told her that yes she was. I gave her examples of why I thought so. 

That went over like a lead balloon and I didn't hear from her for a few days. She then tells me she didn't expect me to agree with her. That she hadn't really been ready to hear the truth blah, blah, blah. At this point I am ready to slam my head into a brick wall full force for being honest once again. 

So then tonight I wrote a blog on Myspace stating that I am no longer giving out advice or my opinions to anyone anymore. People don't want the truth they want you to say what they want to hear and I am Oh so sorry but that just isn't me. So I will just from now on and forever keep my damn mouth shut. 

Sooooooo then friend S sends me a reply stating that she had needed to hear that she wasn't mad and please don't abandon her. Once again I am leaning towards just smacking my head a wall as hard as I can because at this point I feel it would be far less painful. 

Sometimes I think hermits have the right idea...

Health Care, The Economy, Etc...

I know I know it is a lot like beating a dead horse but sometimes it seems you have too. Health care in this country sucks unless you have money to have great insurance. If you are poor in this country and you become ill you might as well curl up in a ball and die because no one will help you. The only exceptions here is if you have kids, or are eldery and yes if they are poor they need help too. However what about tohse that do not fall into those catergories? 

Some say well get a decent job and get insurance. I dare anyone to try to find a job even flipping burgers right now. It isn't always cut and dried and it definitely isn't easy. I am in college I am trying to change my future for the better. I also have almost all the symptoms of a disease that killed my mother at age 54. The thing is it doesn't have to be deadly and as a matter of fact it can be cured if I could get medical help but I can't. 

I have no problems with helping our neighbors in the world and I believe it is a good thing to do. However damn it take care of your own first. If  our government can spend billions on health needs in foreign countries then they can afford to help their own people. I have called supposed free clinics here and once they found out I had no job and no insurance they all but laughed and a couple even hung up on me. It makes me angry that a person any person cannot get medical treatment. 

Our government even now gives away billions to companies that should have been allowed to fall flat on their faces since it was their own fault they got into such a fix. If we as citizen spend our money foolishly will the government come to us and say "Oh here you a few billion to fix you up again." no not by any means. This country runs every day on the backs of average everyday people and they are the ones that shafted. Our government has no respect for it's people and no concern for those that suffer. I have no higher hopes for this presidential term than any other in the past. It is not because of Obama or his color as that is not even a factor. What is a factor is that our president is a figurehead and he has no real power. The congress, the house, the senate now those are the ones that need replacing. 

A friend of mine once told me that the only ones that should ever be elected to office are the ones that truly do not want to be there. 

The World Today...

Lately it seems that the One-Minute Writers writing prompts have been touching on the cynical side of me.  I am a deeply cynical person though I am not a bitter person, I live, love, and laugh a lot.  So the question is is the world a different place than when I was a kid?

Yes I would have to say that it is. I was born in the early 60's and technology is vastly different, views and opinions are vastly different as well.  Some of this was for the better some of it not. That we as a world are more tolerant of other races is much improved and most definitely for the better. That our children are spoiled, lack discipline and are pretty much out of control is a very sad and tragic thing.  Yes I know there are still parents out there that still discipline their children but you are a rarity these days. 

I was spanked as a child and it did not kill me, make me more violent, bitter or hate my parents. I spanked my children and the same with them. They are well rounded have decent jobs families of their own and they spank their children. For those that think it goes against the Bible to spank. God said "Spare the rod, spoil the child" He did not mean that you should spoil your child and not spank them. He disciplines us so why wouldn't he want us to dicsipline our own children? Anyway just look around you and at the backgrounds of a lot of these kids that have shot up schools, and what have you. 

I don't believe it is due to they were picked on in school, or movies, music, or video games. It is due to the fact that they didn't have good discipline, or good morals instilled in them young.  Morals is the thing that tells you that is wrong to do something like that just because you were called a name. 

Drug use I believe is worse now than it ever was in the 60's. Then yes it was pot, LSD, cocaine and bad as that was it is worse now.  Now we have Meth, PCP, and many others to add to the list. 

I hate the way the world has blurred the genders. Now yes it is okay for boys to play with girl toys sometimes and girls to play with boy toys sometimes. However they also need to know what it is to be a boy or girl. They are different as they were intended to be. Boys do not have a feminine side and girls do not have a masculine side. It is no wonder kids grow up confused. I am not knocking gays but girls are girls and boys are boys. 

So has the world changed yes and it will continue to do just that for better or worse. 

Yesterday....

Another prompt from the One-Minute Writer. 

First let me state for the record that Christmas is not my favorite holiday. Now I can hear all of you saying grinch and "Oh why not? It is such a magical holiday."  The truth is it isn't a magical wonderful holiday for everyone. I have no problem with the Christian prospective of the holiday (even though Jesus wasn't born in Dec). However I do have a problem with the rest of the view of Christmas and it disgusts me more every year. 

In most cases these days good will towards men (humans in general) extends no further than those that closest to you (no I am notpointing fingers at anyone in particular). I always hear well if my spouse, child, mother, father, inlaws, etc don't spend this much on me, or buy me this my Christmas will be ruined. I want to grab these people and shake them until they get over themselves.

These people never stop to think that there are children out there that go hungry on Christmas, and there is no tree or gifts or a fat man in a red suit. They never stop to think about the people that lost their jobs right before Christmas and they and their families will have to do without, or about the homeless that are sleeping in abandoned buildings, under bridges, and highway over passes.  Yes I am quite aware no one person can help everyone, but if everyone helped someone then the world would be better for it. 

Instead however the world takes this once giving holiday and turns it into a day of greed and self indulgence. They sing of good will towards men, and turn at the same time a blind eye to those without. Pretending all is well in a world that has not been well for a very long time. 

How did I spend my Christmas? Alone and by choice I refuse to celebrate greed. 

Chicken...

I laughed when I saw the prompt for the One-Minute Writer today.  I use to raise chickens when i lived in Illinois. The above picture is of General one of my bantam roosters he is looking in at his girl Sofie and their brood of 16 babies.  His brother wasn't far away I am sure and they were nearly twins in looks the only difference being their combs. 

I do sometimes miss living on the farm it was quiet and usually easy going. I love chickens they can be fun to watch and then there are the eggs although bantam eggs are pretty small. Chickens aren't the smartest of God's creatures especially hens. Roosters are smarter as they look after the hens and protect them.  Ours free ranged except when the hens were raising a brood then that girl was kept in the coop and pen. 

Herding...Never knew roosters did it until I saw it. Every evening Sofie would not go to the coop when it would start getting dark outside. So General and Sarge herd her into the coop and then stand guard outside the door until it was nearly dark and then they would go in so I could lock the door. 

So the word chicken brings back fond memories.